A satirical take on the foreign talent issue

Government gives green light for the import of foreign talents to represent Singapore in beauty pageants

By Killerzephyr, SingaporeSatire correspondent

Following suggestions from some Singaporeans, the government has decided to import foreign talents to represent Singapore at international beauty pageants so as to improve the nation’s chances of winning.

Minister of Community, Youth and Sports Dr Vivian Balakrishnan blamed the poor quality of local beauties for the country’s failure to clinch any awards. “One has obviously been reading too much Playboy, Hustler and Penthouse. The other can’t speak English to save her life and goes around saying boomz!” he complained, referring to scandal-hit Miss Singapore winners Rachel Kum and Ris Low respectively.

The Singapore mainstream media has applauded this latest move. “The foreign talent policy has clearly been a success. During the 2008 Olympics, our China-born imports Feng Tian Wei, Lee Jia Wei and Wang Yuegu brought glory to Singapore by winning the nation’s first silver Olympics medal in 48 years! If it works for sports, surely it will work for Miss World too! Remember, foreign talents are indispensible to Singapore! Singaporeans should be grateful to them!” said Straits Times Political Editor Chua Lee Hoong.

On the other hand, independent online news sites such as The Online Citizen and The Temasek Review have denounced the government’s decision as an absolute joke. “Outrageous! Just how far will this government go with their foreign talent programme?! If only we could import foreign talents to replace our inept, uncaring government and that government mouthpiece of a press!” wrote a Temasek Review correspondent. Bloggers have also called upon Singaporeans to remember this latest injustice, along with many others like the Mas Selamat boo-boo, when voting during the next election.

Immigration and the foreign talent policy have become thorny local issues. “In the past, only professionals who can contribute to Singapore’s growth are sought after by the government. Now any Tom, Gopal and Xiao Ming will do! These days everywhere I turn, I see an ah tiong (local derogatory term for Chinese nationals)!” ranted a housewife from Bishan. “They compete with locals for jobs and university vacancies. Even the hookers in Geylang and the rag-and-bone men are facing foreign competition too!” commented a student. “Citizens are already unhappy, yet the government continues giving out Singapore citizenships and permanent residencies like cheap candy to those so-called foreign talents!” fumed a Shenton Way executive. All three interviewees have firmly insisted on remaining anonymous.

Meanwhile, the government is trying to make room in Singapore for the bevy of beauties from Venezuela and Russia it has successfully wooed over to the country. It has also started a campaign to encourage Singaporeans to be warm and friendly towards the ladies as well as other foreign talents settling in Singapore. The mainstream media will play a major role in spearheading this latest campaign.

When asked about who else the government intends to woo over, Dr Balakrishnan said “With the elections coming up next year and Potong Pasir and Hougang wards still in opposition hands, perhaps we will rope in foreign talent to join PAP and contest those wards.”

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Not bad, I think, for a first attempt at satire. This satirical story is actually my story-telling assignment for my Journalism course. The idea of the storytelling assignment, according to my tutor, is to write a story or narrative that reflects what I think the role of journalism in society should be. I got inspiration from this article from The Temasek Review. I can't believe people would actually think of importing foreign talent to represent Singapore at international beauty pageants! The whole idea was just so dumb that I just had to make a spoof out of it. I ended up poking fun at several other issues as well, such as the nation's obsession with being the best, Singaporean's fear of speaking up and local politics.

Hope you had a good laugh!

Superstar

Yep, as you can see, people, I've changed my blogskin! I thought I'd give Zephy a makeover to mark the end of lessons and the start of SWAT back week (UQ's way of saying exam preparation week). Also, since the previous two blogskins were predominantly black, I thought I'd use a more bright and cheery one this time. And what better theme for the blogskin than the cool and funky kids of Gundam Seed Destiny?

The title of the blogskin is "Superstar", because I had Jamelia's highly upbeat "Superstar" song in mind as I was creating the picture. What I did was take a bunch of scans posted at Minitokyo by someone going by the moniker Gressini, crop them all into rectangular strips and arrange them as seen (in case you are wondering, yes, I did delibrately put Kira and Lacus, Lunamaria and Shinn as well as Cagalli and Athrun together. Because they are meant to be!). According to Gressini, these scans were from the Gundam Seed Destiny Special Collection. I'd pay good money for hard copies of those, I really love the art style! Go check out the full scans at Gressini's Minitokyo page (look under 'Credits') and see the characters in all their funky glory! Actually, I have not watched Gundam Seed Destiny yet, though I do know the gist of the entire story. I've only watched Gundam Seed, which totally blew my mind! Let's see, out of the 12 characters featured in the picture, I like the Meer one best (pink hair and star-shaped clip). Cagalli's my favourite character, actually, but I have to admit I really like Meer's expression and pose in the picture. In case you're wondering why Meer looks very similar to the girl on the extreme left (Lacus), it's because Meer is impersonating Lacus for political reasons.

I'd have had a theme song for this blogskin playing in the background (either Chu Bara or Superstar or Houki Boshi) but bloody My Flash Fetish is screwing on me and I can't get any music to play. Damn, nothing like some upbeat music to up the funk quotient some more.

So much for Superstar. In other news, lessons came to an end yesterday for us at UQ. It's now own time, own target for our exam preparations. I've decided that I will sit for my Political Ideas exam after all. The exam alternative sounded rather difficult to me. 2500words to 3000 words on my thoughts on the post-ideological age? Errrrr, I'll do the exam instead, thanks. Besides, the exam doesn't sound too hard. Basically, prior to the exam, the teachers will release 14 short answer questions, 7 of which will appear in the exam. All I have to do is reasearch and prepare my answers to all of them and hope the ones I have most confidence in appears. The International Relations exam works in a very similar manner. I'm completely done with Commuincations and Cultural Studies already, having submitted my last assignment (a reasearch essay on Evangelio fan culture) yesterday afternoon. As for Journalism, there's still one more minor essay to go.

I can't believe there's only about 3 more weeks to go before summer vacation commences. Time really does fly. It's quite amazing, how far I've come...



P.S Back to the topic of anime: A trailer for the Gundam 00 movie has been released! See this video.

GUNDAMS RAPHAEL, ZABANYA, HARUTE, & 00 QAN(T)!!! WOOTS!!!

When the purple flowers bloom

The trees along the streets are heavily adorned with bright purple blooms. Those pretty purple flowers herald two things: the arrival of spring, and the coming of the exam period.

The exam period at UQ begins next month, starting on the 7th of November and ending on the 21st. I've got at most 2 exams, one on the 12th of November and another on the 19th. I say "at most 2" because one of them is optional. I could either sit for that exam or opt to do a take-home essay. Pretty cool huh?

Meanwhile, we at UQ are all busy with our assignments. That's why I haven't been updating frequently these days, because I've been busy working on some major assignments. Last Friday, I submitted my International Relations major essay. Tomorrow, I've got to hand in my Political Ideas major essay by 3pm. Once I'm done with that, I've got to start on my Communications and Cultural Studies research essay, which is due at the end of the month. At the same time, I've got to make sure I contribute to both the Journalism blog and the Communications and Cultural Studies one. Oh, and there's that story-telling assignment for Journalism which I have been neglecting for some time.

*Bangs head on the desk and bawls*

There's just sooo much to do and not much time! (What the hell am I doing here at Zephy's anyway?) So, from now until the end of the exam period, I will be updating this blog less frequently. Once a forthnight, I guess. Don't miss me too much, heh!

Actually, the situation I'm in now isn't so bad. I quite enjoyed the assignments I've been doing, especially my Political Ideas essay, which is on the relevance of Marxism to the modern world. I also look forward to starting on my Communications and Cultural Studies research essay which will be based on Evangelion! I don't remember enjoying the assignments I did in primary school, sceondary school or junior college this much. Marx would've said that I was alienated from my work back then. I'd love to blog more about the things I've learnt in school, but for now, I gotta sign off and get started on work. Till next time!

Holiday? What friggin' holiday?!

I'm currently having a one-week holiday that is coming to an end way too soon. Actually, 'holiday' isn't quite appropriate. More like, a week-without-lessons-but-there's-still-a-whole-lot-of-work-to-keep-you-occupied-thanks-to-sadistic-teachers. Quite like the school holidays in Singapore, except that instead of spending most of our time mugging for exams, we in UQ work on assignments or projects instead. So, honestly, WHAT holiday are we talking about here? Just look at the things I've got to do:

1. Major essay for Political Ideas course


2. Major essay for International Relations course


3. Mini theory-based essay for Journalism course.


4. Post entires at the Journalism blog


5. Communications and Cultural Studies Research essay

Some of these (number 4 and 5) are not due anytime soon actually, but it's better to start on them early than to procrastinate. As for numbers 1, 2 and 3, they are due either next week or the week after next, so I've been spending more time and effort on these. After I submit my assignments I swear I don't want to see anything to do with Marxism, Feminist International Relations Theory or Political Economy Mass Communication Theories for a long time.

But, this week being a holiday (even if it's a pseudo-holiday), I did allow myself some slacking time. Last Saturday and Sunday I did some sightseeing of my own within Brisbane. I popped in at Toowong (a nearby suburb) as well as the Central Business District and South Bank (a tourist attraction, with a man-made beach overlooking the city, among other things). This Sunday I plan to go out again, one more time before the daily grind resumes next week. I haven't decided where though.

Oh, and did I mention that I'm currently watching Gundam Seed? Nothing like some anime therapy to prevent you from going crazy over work. In fact, this holiday, I'm usually either doing my work or watching Gundam Seed. I've finished over 3/4 of it so far and am loving it! It's hard to say whether I like Gundam Seed or Gundam 00 better, but what I do know is that Gundam Seed has been one of my favourite animes. TOTEMO SUKI DESU!!! Forget the latest season of Gossip Girls, people, WATCH GUNDAM SEED!!!

Ok, I shall go off to catch 2 more episodes of Gundam Seed before I go to sleep. Bye for now!

P.S And since no blog post that touches on anime is complete without a picture, here's some Gundam Seed eyecandy:

Kawaii desu ne? The 4 main protagonists of Gundam Seed:) Cagalli and Athrun are my favs!

Image source:

www.animepaper.net

My Purest Heart for You IX

I can still see your face,

I can still hear your voice,

I can still taste your kiss,

I can still smell your scent,

I can still feel your caress,

I can still remember you

As though we parted

only yesterday.

Happy first year anniversary!

Image source: www.advancedanime.com

Singapore: a totalitarian state?

This morning's Political Ideas lecture was a really interesting and memorable one. We covered Totalitarianism today and at one point during the powerpoint presentation, my lecturer showed a slide entitled "Contemporary Contenders". The 2 contemporary contenders for totalitarianism were Burma and Singapore. Being Singaporean, seeing Singapore featured seized my attention, and got me thinking: Singapore? TOTALITARIAN? The lecturer justified Singapore by citing examples such as the fact that Singapore has been governed by the PAP since independence, the suing and jailing of opposition leaders and the withholding of upgrading of estates that do not vote for PAP.

Now, I know very well these examples to be true, having read the various socio-political blogs on Singapore. I don't dispute them, as shameful as they are. My point of contention was labelling Singapore as "totalitarian" based on these examples. I felt "totalitarian" was rather extreme; "authoritarian" would be a lot more appropriate. Aside from disagreeing on that point, I did feel a little embarrased. The lecturer had correctly pointed out the nasty aspects of Singapore politics to all and sundry and suggested that Singapore was totalitarian, just like Nazi Germany and Mussolini's Italy. An Aussie classmate turned to me, grinned and jokingly asked "So how's life in fascist, totalitarian Singapore?" "We're not some Nazi regime." I thought, and once the lecture stopped for a 5 minute break, I immediately went over to the lecturer to set the record straight.

I said that while Singapore certainly displayed some features of a totalitarian state, such as total control of the mass media and dominance by a one-party state symbolized by an individual, I did not consider Singapore "totalitarian". My understanding of "totalitarian" was a state characterized by open fear and terror. Just like in Stalinist Russia, where anyone including the Communist party and secret police was vulnerable to being purged, joking about Stalin could have you arrested and having to clap whenever Stalin's name was mentioned (and apparently, the first person to stop clapping would be arrested). Generally speaking, in Singapore, you could utter a criticism of the government without the ISD pouncing on you and dragging you off to a detention centre. A totalitarian state would not have tolerated any oppostion. Yet, oppostion parties are allowed to exist and take part in the political discourse, albeit with plenty of restrictions placed upon them. In the online world, there are plenty of criticisms of the Singapore government, which a totalitarian government would not have allowed either. While the government certainly isn't too happy about what people are saying about them online, they haven't gone to the extreme of tracking down people's IP adresses and arresting netizens. Nor have they taken a leaf out of China's book and erected a "Great Firewall of Singapore". In short, I believe Singapore was more authoritarian rather than totalitarian, the former being authority coming "from above" with or without the consent of citizens that is enforced by repressing opposition as well as political liberty, as defined by Andrew Heywood. Totalitarianism, said Heywood, takes things even further in a quest for total power, resulting in the elimination of civil society and private sphere.

My lecturer thanked me for my input. He said that going by what I said about the presence of the opposition and the alternate viewpoints raised online, Singapore would then be nearly but not exactly, totalitarian. The reason why he included Singapore in the slides was to show that Singapore was an example of a possible contender for totalitarianism. I said I wasn't offended by the inclusion as I knew Singapore did meet several criterias to be considered totalitarian, but I simply wanted to put some issues into perspective.

Later, some classmates and I discussed Singapore politics further, from the restrictions on society to Lee Kuan Yew and Lee Hsien Loong (the "God" and his "Baby-God", remarked a dude who had lived in Singapore for several years). I wondered if Singapore's political reputation was really that notorious abroad. We also discussed other more obvious contenders for Totalitarianism that the lecturer did not bring up in class, such as Mao's China and Peron's Argentina.

All in all, this morning's discussions on totalitarianism, politics and Singapore with my lecturer and classmates have been most enlightening. It's interesting to know how foreigners see Singapore, be it in a positive or negative light. I totally look forward to another in-depth discussion on politics!

EVANGELION 2.0 IS COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE (5/9/09): Evageeks.org says that Evangelion 2.0 will be coming to Australia this year after all! Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the date of release is not confirmed yet.

FINALLY!

After months and months of popping in at Wikipedia and Evageeks.org to check for Evangelion 2.0 international release dates, my prayers have finally been answered:

"The film is scheduled to be released in Singapore in September 17 2009, in Hong Kong in October 2009, as well as in Taiwan in October 16 2009"

~ Wikipedia page on Evangelion 2.0

This info is comfirmed by www.thepicturehouse.com.sg/coming.html#evangelion

Awesome, TOTALLY awesome. September? That's this month! Too bad I won't be in Singapore to catch the movie. I don't know if it's gonna show in Brisbane. Someone watch on my behalf and tell me all about it? *makes puppy eyes at Kheng Meng* Ah well, hopefully by the time I return to Singapore in November, a DVD would've been released and I won't have to resort to watching some crummy cell-phone video posted on Youtube.

In other anime-related news, the next anime on my to-watch list is Gundam Seed. Yep, I figured if Gundam 00 is good enough for me (and it damn well is awesome, go watch!), Gundam Seed should be good enough too. A million thanks to Kheng Meng (hey, I mentioned you twice in this post, aren't you honoured;)) for helping me download the whole series. I'm afraid I'll only get to watch it during the September holidays though, when I'm more free. Still, can't wait!

Gahhh, if only watching anime was part of my assignment. Actually, I looked at Death Note manga in class not too long ago, as part of this textual analysis assignment for my Communications and Cultural Studies course. Wish we'd do more of that. Someday, I'm gonna do JAPN3130, a course on Japanese anime, as an elective...

Image source: www.animepaper.net