The death penalty

One of Mr Wang's posts got me thinking hard about my stance on a certain controversial issue: the death penalty (see here). Mr Wang's stance is that he opposes the death penalty on the basis that there is absolutely no justification for taking the life of another human being. He has also explored this issue on several other occasions.

Personally, I support the death penalty. However, I'm not writing to explain why I do or to challenge the opposition, instead I'd like to talk about why in spite of Mr Wang's convincing arguments (and he has plenty) against the death penalty, my stance hasn't changed.

Here's what it means to support the death penalty, according to Mr Wang:

" If you stand against capital punishment - you stand all the way (like Amnesty International does). It shouldn't matter what the crime was, or whether the criminal has a sob story or looks handsome or not - you stand all the way."

Even if the criminal in question has committed to most heinous of felonies.

Even if the criminal in question is Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein or Idi Amin.

Even if the criminal has just ruthlessly and remorselessly killed or ruined someone you love.

So maybe the death penalty has various limitations. But I simply can't bring myself to agree that the people mentioned above deserve to live. I think we still need the death penalty for the most horrible of crimes. Going by Mr Wang's definition, then, I don't oppose the death penalty.

Quote of the day

" Put aside your negative emotional baggages, the burden (studies) you shoulder is heavy enough already..... The teachers won't give up on you, so don't give up on yourself......You can do it."

~ Miss Hazel, addressing students at the end of this morning's Economics lecture.


I couldn't help but tear when she said that.

Declaration of intent

EDITED (29/7): last paragraph


Vatican City is the smallest independent state in the world and home of the Pope. In Vatican City, there's a holy site called St Peter's Basilica. And in St Peter's Basilica, I distinctly remember a particular statue, the statue of St Peter Enthroned. Visitors were allowed to walk past the statue and rub his foot for blessings. When it was my turn, I noticed that years and years of rubbing had worn most of the foot away. A simple rubbing action, when repeated over the years, has the power to wear away even metal.



*****************

In the same vein, with every little effort I put into my studies, the cumlative result should become powerful enough to erode the many stumbling blocks I face on my journay towards acing the 'A's. Every action counts. This thought is a comforting one, in a time when there's so much to be done I get overwhelmed thinking about it all. I got back my mid year results last week and needless to say, they aren't good: 2 'B's and the rest 'E's. Crap results are nothing new to me but this particular set of crap results shook me. All of a sudden, I wanted to ace my 'A' levels very badly. Before that, my attitude was more of 'I would like to ace my 'A' levels'. That's a hell lot of difference.



So I made a promise to myself: for the next big exam coming my way, the Preliminary Examinations, I am going to IMPROVE BY AT LEAST 2 GRADES for every subject. It sounds a little ambitious, but I don't think it's impossible. And I love a good challenge anyway. I got down to slogging away last week, revising my work and clearing up stuff that I don't know. If there's one lesson I've learnt from years of taking exams, it's that revising early makes a big difference. Still, for all I've done, there's still a long way to go.

I've pondered a little why doing well in the 'A' Levels means so much to me. I want to secure a place in a good university, but perhaps the reason is much more fundamental than that. Maybe it's just my personality. I was once told that I'm the sort who strives to do a good job of whatever I do, even if I may not like the task very much.That's probably it then: I simply want to do my best. Especially since I really love GHEM. Most importantly, in the occasion that I didn't make it, I want to be able to smile , place my hand on my heart and declare "Oh well, I did what I could."

This is my now

EDIT (15/7): Added a picture of the proudest moment of my JC life



I know I'm updating very early, considering how I last posted 2 days ago. But I have BREAKING NEWS that I just have to share, news that I have been wanting to hear so desperately for ages and ages. I can't believe it has finally happened even after a teacher and friend confirmed it for me.

Ready? Here it is.....

I SCORED A 'D' FOR ECONOMICS PAPER 1!!! LIKE, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! ALL ALONG IT HAS BEEN A STRING OF 'S'.








And I haven't got to the best part yet. For the macroeconomic case study, I screwed up. But I owe it to my microeconomics one which earned me a......

B!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? IF I CAN PRODUCE A 'B' GRADE ANSWER UNDER EXAM CONDITIONS, (NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS!), IT PROVES THAT MY ECONS ISN'T SO HORRIBLE AFTER ALL!!!

If this isn't a breakthrough, I honestly don't know what is. All these years I've been so sick and tired... of feeling sick and tired. I mean, I've been getting 'U's (the lowest possible grade, so low that it's considered 'ungraded') for Economics since I officially started Junior College. Utterly demoralizing and frustruating. But I got my act together this year, with the encouragement of friends, family and teachers, and decided that Economics must not go down the drain. Still, I was still not very hopeful and was even declared last week that 'I could most assuredly kiss case study goodbye'. And today....today, I recieved the first sign ever that all is not lost. That my hard work did pay off. That the goal of achieving a 'C' for Economics for the 'A' Levels may not be light years away like I thought.

Overall, I have an 'S' for Economics for the mid years. It's an 'S' because my essay component dragged me down badly. But you know what? Even though I still failed, I improved from 'U' to 'S'. I've progressed. For now, that's all that matters. Next up, I have to fix macroeconomics case study and essays. If I can do it for microeconomics case study, I don't see why I can't for the other 2 components.

I may have 15 years of writing expereince, but I can't find the words powerful enough to describe this sense of achievement. Maybe I'll leave it to Jordin Sparks then:


This is my now - Jordin Sparks

There was a time I packed my dreams away.
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.

There was a time when I was so afraid.
I thought I'd reached the end,
But baby that was then
I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then, this is my now.

I have to decide,
Was I gonna to play it safe.
Or look somewhere deep in side,
Try to turn the tide,
And find the strength to take that step of faith.

This is my now,
and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

And I have the courage like never before, yeah.
I've settled for less now I'm ready for more,
Ready for more.


This is my now,
and I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me,
gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.

I'm living in the moment
I look around I can't believe the love I see.
My fears behind me,
gone are the shadows and doubt
That was then, this is my now.
This is my now.

0729

EDIT (13 Jul): Rectified some inaccuracies

Considering how there are only just a few more months to go before I graduate from NYJC, I've decided to chronicle as much as I can about NYJC life here at Zephy. I've talked loads about my CCA, friends and subjects so far. Has it ever struck anyone as weird that I say so little about my own classmates? There's a reason for the lack of mention. But first, here's a picture of my class 0729, which was taken last year:




Shouldn't be too hard to spot me:)



0729 is one unique class. Students are usually sorted into classes based on the subject combinations they take. For instance, you get classes consisting entirely of students doing PCME (Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Economics) or BCME (Biology, Chemistry, Maths, Economics). Very often, everyone within a class has a few common subjects. This is where 0729 deviates from the norm: diverse subject combinations. In fact, the sole common subject is General Paper, and nearly every one of the 16 available subjects is talken up by at least one person in my class.Talk about rojak!



Therein lies the problem with my class: a lack of unity. I say this matter-of-factly, without any regret or disappointment, because like my classmates I just can't care less. No doubt it's a pity: diversity is absolutely no excuse for disunity, and being classmates, that's all the more reason why we should get to know each other. Easier said than done. Besides, it's human nature to hang around people you share similar traits, viewpoints or interests with. 0729 can be roughly divided into 5 cliques: the boys, the bimbo-ish, girls group 1, girls group 2 and..... me. Uh-huh, I am my own gang in my class. Reason being that I am of a completely different wavelength from everyone else, in nearly every conceivable aspect: interests, tastes, character, subject combination, background etc.



I realized just how enigmatic I am to the rest of my class the day I turned 18. Following the class tradition of presenting a card full of well-wishes to the birthday kid (because our form teacher told us to do so), I was given a nice card. Upon opening it, it struck me that nearly everyone wrote something along the lines of "Happy Birthday, and best wishes!" On the other hand, the messages and well-wishes my other classmates got mentioned good times, poked fun, had little bits of gossip inserted etc. Mine were, well, generic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming my classmates or anything. I genuinely felt touched at having received a card. It's just that the card was testament to the fact that my class mates know so little about me, to the extent that they did not really know what to say to me on my birthday.

Do I feel sorry about this state of affairs? Not really. I have long accepted that my classmates and I can never be the best of friends simply because we're polar opposites in too many ways. On my part, I admit I haven't done much to bridge this gulf. Then again, how do I do that? I don't want to put on a mask and pretend to be them just so as to fit in, because I'm the sort who guards my individuality fiercely. What I've done is just make sure that I'm on good terms with everyone. I'm glad to say that I get along well with most of my classmates, and there's even someone who I can consider more than an acquintance i.e a friend.

As for the rest of the class...... they probably feel a tinge of regret about the status quo too. Little has been done to strengthen the class bonds and 0729 is as clique-ish as ever, and is likely to remain so until we graduate. Looking at other classes who go for class gatherings and have their unique class cheers, I do wonder what things would've been like had 0729 been a real family. It would make my JC life truly complete. But we aren't. We're just members of the same class, that's all.

Views on End of Evangelion

WARNING: this post contains spoilers


See here for my review of the original series



Everyone who has watched Neon genesis Evangelion would've known about the controversial last two episodes. And I mean HIGHLY contorversial, to the extent that there was a tremendous uproar, death threats and an alternative ending created. Controversy was stirred not because director Hideaki Anno inserted something blasphemous into the series. Rather, it was the way the series ended: not with the big bang many had eagerly expected and instead what some would've called a mind-fucking experience. Basically, after the last Angel was annihilated, the Human Instrumentality Project was kickstarted. Everything takes a sharp turn for the abstract and the philosophical, as Shinji, Rei, Asuka and Misato all undergo some really intense soul-searching. Each stares face-to-face with their inner demons and with much difficulty, breaks the chains that bind their souls. No spectacular victory-dance. No EVAs blasting off into space in triumph. And thus the fans cried foul.







So in 1996, Hideaki Anno was pressurized to come up with an alternative ending called End of Evangelion to pacify fans and to answer many unasnswered questions about the fate of humanity. In a nutshell, End of Evangelion is about SEELE and NERV engaging in a bloody clash and the role played by Shinji and Rei in this chaotic situation. More action, less talk, to put it another way. I've watched End of Evangelion after rewatching the original last 2 episodes to see which ending I like better. Here's my verdict:







Fuck End of Evangelion. The original series and ending is WAY better. Period.







Heh, now I have something to rebut people who tell me that I'm too crazy over Evangelion: Evangelion is wonderful with the sole exception of the End of Evangelion. Where do I began describing just how sucky I find it? The death of Kaworu Nagisa took a huge toll in Shinji. He becomes even more emo than he was before (as if he wasn't emo enough already) and also becomes..... a pervert. I finally figured out just what that white fluid on his hands might be in that, ahhhh, 'scene' in Asuka's room in the beginning of Part 1. I shall not elaborate further. Oh and speaking of Asuka: if Shinji morphed into sicko, Asuka morphed into a beast. Or is there a better term for someone who seizes attacking mass-produced EVAs, brutally tears off their heads and limbs, all while shrieking in mad laughter? In the series, Asuka was certainly hot-tempered and raring to fight, but not to the extent that she'd do an Elfen Lied. Brutality was also explicitly demonstrated during the invasion of NERV HQ, during which NERV personal were ruthlessly gunned down in SEELE's attempt to terminate the 3 Children. It's easy to see why fans believe that End of Evangelion is Anno's revenge (which isn't true according to Wikipedia): the film has a greater violence, gore and shock value, so much so that you'd think Anno was trying to bastardize his own work. It's like " You asses want more action, fighting and annihilation? Fine, then chew on THIS!"





And that, is only the first half. The second half takes a schizophrenic turn for the abstract (again!). But unlike the original ending, which can be understood if one tried, this one is rather incoherent. Reviewer Carlos Ross hit the nail on the head when he described it as "a melange of still images that put MTV commercials to shame and pans of movie theaters (I guess this was the audience participation moment of Eva?) and street-scenes ... (live-action, mind you!) Anno's directing went from masterful action and suspense, to long moments of budget-less, animation-less anime." Even after watching the 2nd half a 2nd time , I still find the whole thing rather patchy and confusing. Someone explain the purpose of the photo montage? Or young Shinji building a sandcastle? What do all thses have got to do with anything? To top it all, at the end of the film, more questions are raised rather than answered. Spike Spencer, who voices Shinji Ikari, sums it up humorously in a parody commentary track on the final Neon Genesis Evangelion DVD:





"Oh this is… this is nice, this is the end, okay. Where exactly am I? Oh great… here's the song, oh good. Um, there's some things that are still unresolved here, guys! How do I get home? What do I eat? Was Rei my-my mom? Or a clone? Or, hell, was this all in my mind? Wha-what's an EVA? Is that sort of a Freudian thing? Er… um Am I real? Oh, hell, does a bus run through here? I mean, I'd like to go home now but um… Oh God… Where's home? Okay, okay, okay. I mustn't run away, I mustn't run… Okay I got that, good, okay. Now, if I were to run away, let's analyze that: Where the fuck would I go? I'm on a big blue ball! Uhh, is this how you end the series? I mean, is this where we go from here? Okay, the movie better sure as Hell make up for this, I'm telling you right now, 'cause I'm stuck in Nowhereland! You ran outta ink too, didn't you, ya bastards?"





HAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Ok lah, to be fair, End of Evangelion isn't ENTIRELY bad. If you exclude some gruesome scenes, the visuals were quite spectacular. Especially the apocalyptic completion of the Human Instrumentality Project; the end of the world never looked so terrifyingly beautiful. There's also this really nice song, Komm, süßer Tod, that played somewhere near the end. All that aside, End of Evangelion is largely a disappointment for me.





Ok will sign off from here. Gotta hit the books again. Even Anno agrees it's not a good idea to get obsessive over Evangelion, as wonderful as the series is:




"You're an idiot. Study harder." –Hideaki Anno, to a man who had spent all his textbook money on Evangelion merchandise





Image from Google Images

P.S Ergo Proxy, my 2nd favourite anime, was quoted in this week's Singapore Daily roundup:)

I survived (barely)

Like I just woke up from a nightmare. That's the most accurate description of my post-mids state of mind I can think of. The past 2 weeks have been gruelling, more so than any other exam week I've expereinced, even the 'O' levels. I got the full blast of the mids upon returning from school. Last Monday, there was Maths in the morning and Physical Geography in the afternoon. The next day, it was Economics in the morning and SEA History in the afternoon. Ouch. 4 papers, 3 of which are writing- intensive, in 2 days. If this isn't sadism I don't know what is. Thankfully, there was a 5 day break from exams for me after that. Which wasn't so much of a time to chill just a little, because I spent those 5 days force-feeding my already information-saturated brain with even more information.

Didn't help my morale one bit to know that some of my papers are rather screwed. I can most assuredly kiss Economics case studies good bye, and maybe the essay component too. That means Economics, has once AGAIN, gone down the drain. To say that I feel so terrible about it is an understatement. As for Geography, it's better than the horror experienced during the block tests but I still don't feel confident about it. This, too, is horribly frustruating because I just KNOW I can score in Geography. I have what it takes to clinch an 'A' or 'B' and I'm quite sure of that. Unfortunately I simply could not revise all the topics in time for the mids. All I need for Geography is just time. Maths was a little tougher than before but it should work out fine. History is fine but I hope my source-based questions anwers aren't as crappy as I think.

All the emo-ing aside, I learnt one really important lesson from the traumatic mids experience: to have faith in myself. I know this sounds cliche and simple, but faith is more powerful than we imagine. I may have sat for the mids not as fully prepared as I wanted to be, but the thing is, so what? It's not like I didn't revise at all. It's not like everything tested was totally new to me. There's still past knowledge and experience I could tap on, and a vast, deep well of knowledge and experience at that. This realization hit me when I was doing my International History paper. I had thought that, having only read my Cold War notes twice during the holidays, I was going to be at a loss of things to write for a Cold War essay. Yet when I took up my pen, the series of events I learnt just unfurled naturally in my mind and I ended up with lots to say. So all that energy wasted lamenting my lack of preparedness could have been channeled to something more productive. Faith. Don't underestimte it, because it can make or break you.

On a brighter note, I'm FREE! For the next 7 days anyway. I intend to spend my precious break sorting out my school stuff and more importantly, SLACKING. There's nothing like some good anime (END OF EVANGELION AND EVANGELION 1.0, HERE I COME!) to keep the blues away:)